If this isn’t your first time having a baby, you will be pleased to know that it does get easier. However, the third time birth isn’t always a charm.
After having our two children – Mayah & Jeremiah, we were sure that our little family was complete. We were a perfect square. So when we found out that we were having a third, we were excited but also a bit anxious. John & I started to worry about even the simple things that we take for granted – we usually divide and conquer, one each. But with 3 kids, how does it work? How are we all going to fit into my little VW Polo?
Countless questions were left unanswered as we started to prepare for our new bundle of joy. Jeremiah was not even two yet. How would he take it? A shiny new competition.
As the day drew nearer, all the worries of how we would cope with three children faded away and was replaced by the joy and excitement of having my baby in my arms. Being pregnant during the start of the Coronavirus pandemic made the pregnancy more difficult. Nurseries were shut which meant that in my first trimester, at the height of the morning sickness, I was working from home while looking after a four year old and a one year old. It was a nightmare, I was always tired.
However I was one of the lucky few who had very understanding managers who let them work flexibly during lockdown. Also added to that was my 4yr old starting school, exciting!
I barely had the time to enjoy the pregnancy, it was difficult getting the routine pregnancy blood tests done because children weren’t allowed in the hospital (thanks covid) and I always had the kids with me because the nurseries were shut. I missed a couple of my prenatal appointments because of the very same reason. My husband was not allowed to attend the scans or appointments with me and I was only able to attend appointments when I could get childcare cover.
In the final weeks, I got really impatient. I was hoping my baby would come early – up to two weeks early. I walked a lot and kept very active, did a lot of squatting while giving Mayah & Jeremiah their baths, in the hope that baby would “descend” and trigger the labour process.
I was 2 days late with Mayah and 3 days late with Jeremiah so my midwife already warned me that the chances of having baby early were very slim and infact, baby was more likely to come later. I waited impatiently – I was sooo over this pregnancy. I was exhausted, my mouth was bitter because of the hormones, my hips were hurting from the SPD and I didn’t know what i was having – was it a boy or a girl?
When I finally went into labour 40+4days (that means 4 days past my due date – God has a sense of humour), I was feeling very optimistic. I had previously had false contractions where the contractions started strong and regularly but gradually slowed down. So when I timed my contractions this time around and they ticked all the boxes, I rang the hospital.
I had straightforward and fairly quick labour with my other two kids so this time around, I asked if I could have a water birth – I wanted an “experience”. Mayah & Jeremiah’s birth took about 3 hours each so I was sure this was also going to be a breeze. I remember that morning around 6.30am, we told my husband’s cousins we would be back shortly. We asked them to walk Mayah to school and we would be back in time to pick her up. John & I casually strolled to the car, we even stopped by the service station to buy some bueno chocolate (fuel I called it) to eat during the labour.
I snacked on peanuts with Jeremiah so wanted to make sure this time around, I had something yummier.
It was a horrible experience, went horribly wrong – I didn’t have my water birth as there was no room, the labour took 9 hrs and we spent two nights in the hospital!
I’ll be honest with you, the birth experiences with Mayah & Jeremiah were nowhere as bad as I was led to believe by “One born every minute”. I was laughing in the labour room, eating and as high as hell on the air & gas. I never really understood when some of my friends told me about how they were in labour for over 24hrs and the immense pain they felt.
Well, now i think I do. I was stuck at 9cm for hours so they had to give me some oxytocin to speed up the contractions and make them stronger. OMG, once that oxytocin entered my blood stream, everything changed. I was screaming for a c-section, epidural, everything. But apparently, it was too late for me to have any of them so I had to use only gas & air. When Judah arrived 2 hours later, John said, “it’s a boy”. I just stared blankly – I had never experienced so much pain in my life. I was hit with an enormous wave of relief but this was only short lived.
The midwife told us there was some meconium and that we would have to spend the night so they could monitor Judah. Later that night, Judah went jaundiced which raised alarm bells for the doctors because apparently, babies are not meant to develop Jaundice straight after birth. Because he came out really tiny at 2.47kg, they were worried and wanted to carry out tests. They put my little Judah on antibiotics and UV treatment.
I cried and cried. I was all alone as they wound’t let John or anyone else stay (thanks again Covid). I was also worried about my other two kids – I didn’t even say goodbye to them that morning before I left as I was so sure I would be back before they noticed I was gone. On the morning of the third day, we were discharged from the hospital and we could finally go home. It all felt surreal like I had just woken up from a nightmare, the only reminder of the trauma we had been through were the aches and pains I felt down there.
Judah is doing really well now, he’s on iron supplements due to low haemoglobin (they don’t know why). I feel a special bond between us, probably because of what we’ve both been through. I know that as a parent we are not meant to have a favorite but I can say that Judah has definitely made an impression on me physically, mentally and emotionally. I can’t stop holding and kissing him, with him our family is truly complete and perfect. Jeremiah & Mayah absolutely adore him.
Something i still can’t get my head around is that everyone else seemed to know that this would happen but me. Everyone I told about my experience including the midwives in the delivery suite, the health visitor, my prenatal midwife, aunties, my mum, etc. all said the same thing – “yeah, the third one is usually difficult”. What?! How come they all waited till after the event to tell me? If I had known, then maybe I would have prepared myself mentally, made better arrangements for childcare and packed more clothes for a possible hospital sleepover.
If you’re a first time mum, now you know and can plan ahead. If like me you‘ve had 3 or more, did you have a difficult experience? Was it the same or was the third time a charm?
Lessons Learnt
Be prepared: ideally we would all want to be in and out with our bundle of joy in a jiffy but always prepare for the unexpected. My husband had to bring me some more supplies as I simply did not have enough of what I needed. You can check out my maternity bag checklist for items you need or to make it easier, you can buy a prepacked maternity bag here.