Feeding fussy eaters can be quite challenging. I often get asked by new mums on how to fix their picky eaters.
Unlike most of my friends, I didn’t do much research or reading on weaning. I thought it would be something straightforward and never imagined how difficult it could be weaning kids. Mayah refused to eat the fancy foods I made her, which I got from the exciting weaning recipes I found online. So I ended up feeding her mostly Ella’s Kitchen which she liked (she wasn’t a fan of the broccoli one though).
Weaning Jeremiah was fun because by this time, I was done with experimenting on Mayah and actually did a bit more research. I kept things simple, purees – one ingredient at a time and homemade. I also let him play with the food and explore with his hands (I had to close my eyes to the big mess he made). He ate everything I gave him as a baby and we went with the “baby led weaning” technique.
But something seems to happen when kids get to 14 – 24months, they become quite picky – well that’s what happened with Mayah and now Jeremiah. Mayah is 5yrs now so although she’s still fussy, she’s mature enough to try. She doesn’t like chewing anything that’s slightly tough or anything that has multiple ingredients in it – I’ve had to remind her several times that her teeth are for chewing. Jeremiah who started strong and enthusiastic is now fussy in his own way (I think it might also be due to the thumb sucking) – he mostly likes meat. Carbs are not really his style.
They both love their fruits and vegetables which is a relief. I don’t have to disguise or force them to eat their vegetables.
Over the years, I’ve tried different things to get my kids to eat. I’ve even spoken to dieticians, grandmas, gps, “super mums” etc. to get tips on how to cope with a fussy eater. I’ve listed below the top tips that I’ve learnt, tried & tested and have worked for my kids & I.
I’ll add a caveat that children are different and it is perfectly normal for children to be fussy eaters. Like I said, my children started when they were babies and toddlers. No need to worry, as long as they are eating enough and gaining weight. Try these tips and see which ones work for you and your kids. If you have any other tips I haven’t listed below, please feel free to share in the comments section so we can learn from one another.
Top tips for feeding fussy eaters/children who are picky eaters
1. Don’t pull a Jamie Oliver: You are probably eager to show off your Master Chef skills and you’ve been looking up some nice children’s recipes online but don’t make the same mistake I did. At that age, children are learning and exploring new tastes. Try to keep things simple to give them the chance to discover what they like and don’t like. You can find some really simple children’s recipes here on the BBC website.
2. Don’t force your child to eat all their food: I was definitely guilty of this. Growing up in an African home, I was always taught never to waste food so I found myself wanting Mayah to clear her plate which then meant she was no longer enjoying the experience but was being forced.
3. Shop together: If you are feeling brave enough, you can make a shopping list with your child. Be prepared to say no to a lot of things as they’ll definitely try their luck. I also noticed it gives them that anticipation e.g. they know they picked pancake ingredients and some strawberries so they’ll be looking forward to making some pancakes and adding some strawberries too. Also, depending on your child’s age, you can pick a simple recipe together and build up the excitement by shopping together for the ingredients.
4. Make the meal together: Mayah is now less fussy with her meals but it took a while to get to where we are now. One trick I used to do which worked really well for her, was involving her in the meal preparation. Simple meals like pizza and sandwiches are quick and easy to make. Kids find it fun and look forward to enjoying the fruit of their labour. Just make sure you have all the ingredients laid out in advance and you’ve cleared away any dangerous or hazardous items.
Depending on the age of your child, they can do simple bits like adding the ingredients into a mixing bowl and mixing. As they get older, they can help with buttering the bread, peeling the potatoes, etc. Please ensure they are carefully supervised.
5. Try to eat together: Children learn most from you so eating together, and eating the same meal, really goes a long way. You can even make little comments like “hmmm, yummy”. This would encourage them to at least try the meal. You can make it a nice little family time so the children can look forward to meal times rather than seeing it as another chore or something they have to do.
There’s also the FOMO which encourages the kids to eat – I noticed with Jeremiah, he would eat certain things at school and not when at home. At first I thought I was just a really bad cook but when I spoke to his teacher, she said it was more because the kids could see all their friends eating the same food, so that encouraged them to also eat. I’ve started doing this and it works. The only downside is now I use very little or no seasoning & salt when cooking and I eat my last meal very early (I guess these can also be seen as positives).
6. Give them small portions: I’m used to eating big portions. I was brought up to eat only 3 times a day with no snacking in between meal times, so this was a struggle for me to get used to. Children’s stomachs are much smaller than ours which means that they also get fuller quicker. Placing a mountain of food before them can easily overwhelm them causing them to give up before even trying or even frustrate you when they only eat an eighth of the portion you place before them.
Keep their portions small – someone once told me the same size as their fist. You can always offer them more once they’ve finished their meal. And remember you can also offer pudding after so you really don’t want them to fill up on the main meal.
7. Give them “special” cutlery: This may not work for all kids so try this and see if it works for your child. My kids have their own plates and cutlery. I recently bought toddler silverware for the kids – these are a set of silver forks, knives and spoons with a teddy bear engraved on. They look really cool and the kids love them. They are also small enough so they can easily hold them and eat with them. The knives are not sharp either so they are safe.
8. Limit their snacking: I noticed the kids used to snack a lot at their grandma’s and end up not eating their meals because they are too full. When they are back home, they are still expecting this to continue – they wouldn’t want to eat their meals but would ask if they could have a snack. I had to discuss this with their nan to stop this and let the children know that snacking a lot isn’t good for them. Helping them curb this habit very early on will also help them when they are adults to cultivate healthy eating habits.
9. Limit distractions: A lot of parents swear by letting their kids play on iPads or watch tv while eating. It doesn’t work for me, maybe because my kids are little. I also don’t think it’s a good habit to develop. I would say to keep away all distractions so they know that meal times are meal times. Kids are also not very good at multitasking at this age, best to let them focus on eating, otherwise they might spend the meal time watching tv and leave their food untouched.
There are some good distractions like having family (cousins, uncles & aunties, grandmas, etc) around and eating together. Meal time will be fun for them and they can associate eating with spending time with their family.
10. Try to stick to a schedule (as much as you can): I know this is a difficult one as life loves to throw us curve balls and no matter how prepared we are, things don’t always work as planned. However, kids thrive very well when there is a schedule. So they know for example, that lunch is always at 12.30pm – their body and mind prepares them for that time. I also noticed that there has to be a perfect balance, leaving meal times until the kids are too hungry or too tired doesn’t help them to eat and trying to feed them straight after a nap or when they are not hungry could also prove a challenge.
Welcome to parenthood where we have to get everything just right. Just do your best, we are not judging. You are doing a great job ;).
11. Try finger foods: You can make small nibbly bits your go-to when you are not up for the drama and just want to get meal time over and done with as soon as possible. So try cutting their sandwiches into small bits, fruits & vegetables can also be cut into small bits or thin slices. They will love it.
12. Try different foods: Eating is a journey and an experience so make sure to give your kids a good experience. Be sure to keep trying different foods with them and it’s ok to try a food that has been previously rejected again, down the line. I remember how Jeremiah never liked jollof rice which was frustrating for me. I mean who doesn’t like jollof rice? I tried again when he was about 18 months and he ate it all up! Remember that saying, if at first you don’t succeed…Also try new food from an early age so they dont get stuck thinking they don’t like certain foods.
13. Get creative: remember what I said about eating being an experience? This is part of that experience. Try to make the food attractive. If Mayah sees something a bit off in her food e.g. a burnt crispy bit on her chicken, she’ll reject the whole chicken. So I make sure I remove any burnt (bbq’d) bits before I give it to her. Jeremiah on the other hand, doesn’t care. He’ll eat the chicken and any other burnt bits that come with it. You can also make patterns or faces with the food on your child’s plate.
I find it a bit weird when I see them eating a cucumber that’s presented as an eye and going “hmm” but hey, they love it and it seems to work.
14. Balance things: there should be a balance as much as possible. By balance, I mean always having something you know they will eat on the plate and encouraging them to try the new bits.
15. Offer closed options: you can offer them a closed choice e.g “do you want your egg boiled or scrambled?” Or “do you want an apple or an orange?” That way they pick one of them, without really having the option of having neither of them. I find this works for Mayah who is a bit older. This doesn’t really work for Jeremiah as he’s only 2. But he usually copies what Mayah does so the key is winning her over.
So these are the tips I’ve learnt (tried and tested) which I use to help my picky eaters eat. I hope you can use these tips to help feed your fussy eater. My top tip is to not make a big deal about it. If you do then they’ll keep being fussy just for the attention they get from it.
Have you tried anything else that I’ve not listed above but has worked for you? Feel free to share in the comments section. Also if you’ve tried any of my tips and they’ve worked (or not worked), I would love to hear about your experience!